Abby and the Scriptures

Abby made me proud this week! On her way to the 8th grade basketball game, she was taking notes from her Bible app, on the school bus!!

Hope Beyond the Shattered Life

I was chatting with a friend this weekend, who has gone through a painful experience. They are trying, really trying to overcome the sadness, bitterness, and muddy waters of a shattered life. I encouraged them to keep looking and moving forward. God is in the midst of the mess. You may not see him, but he promised he would be there.. always. I am living proof of one who saw no light, no hope, no future in 2008. Yet, today I'm awake and alive!!

"But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him,on those whose hope is in his unfailing love.." - Psalm 33:18

Hungry for Bread

Bread is given to slaves, prisoners, people of God. We live on bread from heaven, the Word of God. Check out Proverbs 30:5...

"Every word of God is flawless;he is a shield to those who take refuge in him."

Scriptural Word of the Day

"As water reflects a face,
so a man's heart reflects the man."

Proverbs 27:19

One of My Favs Bible Verse

Proverbs 25:25
"Like cold water to a weary soul, is good news from a distant land."

More Than Just A Beautiful Mess

I'm the one with big mistakes,
big regrets, and bigger breaks than I'd ever
care to confess. Oh but, You're the one
who looks at me, and sees what I was meant
to be, more than just a beautiful mess.

(You Are Everything by Matthew West)
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A beautiful mess is how I have seen myself in the past...well, way too many years. It's true that I am beautiful, or should I be more macho and say handsome? Regardless, of how I see me though it needs to be with more self-respect - God sees me as more than a handsome mess.

In a conversation that has lasted for 41 years, God has said some things to me that I did not believe due to blindness, pride, sin, shame, and the darkness of doubt that surrounded me for so long.

He said that I was created by him and that's enough to be called beautiful. He said that all of creation is good, except for me - which he paused and said I am very good. He said I am worthy enough to worship him, even though my imperfections are a direct contrast to his perfectness. He said that he looks at me and sees that my sins are gone, vanished, and thrown into the depths of the ocean.

Now here's the weird part - he mentioned that he cannot remember my sins. Huh? But aren't you God - the all-knowing Deity of the universe and beyond? He said that he has forgiven my sins and has forgotten them. If that's the truth, then no wonder he sees me as more than just a beautiful mess! He sees (gulp) perfection, sin-lessness, a new creature redeemed by his son.

The reason he sees me this way is because of Jesus. Jesus death and sacrificial blood has washed me so clean that God does not see the junk, filth, and garbage that has nearly ruined my life, at least from my horribly filtered view.
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Check out this vid and read the lyrics below of "Ocean Floor" by Audio Adrenaline:



The mistakes I've made, that caused pain;
I could have done without, all my selfish thoughts
All my pride, the things; I hide You have forgot about

They're all behind you, they`ll never find you
They're on the ocean floor, your sins are forgotten
They're on the bottom, of the ocean floor

My misdeeds, all my greed; All the things that haunt me now
They're not a pretty sight to see; But they`re wiped away
By a mighty mighty wave; A mighty mighty wave

They're all behind you, they`ll never find you
They're on the ocean floor, your sins are forgotten
They're on the bottom, of the ocean floor

Your sins are erased; And they are no more; They're out on the ocean floor

Take them away, to return no more; Take them away, to the ocean floor
To the ocean floor, to the ocean floor

They're all behind you, they`ll never find you; They're on the ocean floor, your sins are forgotten
They're on the bottom, of the ocean floor

Your sins are erased; And they are no more; They're out on the ocean floor
Your sins are forgotten; They're on the bottom; Of the ocean floor
Your sins are erased; And they are no more; They're out on the ocean floor

Leaving Badlands

Read these lyrical lines from the song Badlands and I will explain how I am packing my bags and leaving:

Lights out tonight, trouble in the heartland
Got a head-on collision, smashin' in my guts, man
I'm caught in a cross fire that I don't understand.

But there's one thing I know for sure girl, I don't give a damn
For the same old played out scenes, I don't give a damn
For just the in-betweens,
Honey, I want the heart, I want the soul,
I want control right now

Talk about a dream, try to make it real
You wake up in the night, With a fear so real
Spend your life waiting, for a moment that just don't come
Well, don't waste your time waiting

CHORUS
Badlands, you gotta live it every day
Let the broken hearts stand as the price you've gotta pay
We'll keep pushin' till it's understood
and these badlands start treating us good

Workin' in the fields till you get your back burned
Workin' 'neath the wheel till you get your facts learned
Baby I got my facts learned real good right now
You better get it straight darling

Poor man wanna be rich, rich man wanna be king
And a king ain't satisfied till he rules everything
I wanna go out tonight, I wanna find out what I got

I believe in the love that you gave me
I believe in the faith that could save me
I believe in the hope and I pray that some day
It may raise me above these

CHORUS

BRIDGE
For the ones who had a notion,
a notion deep inside
That it ain't no sin
to be glad you're alive
I wanna find one face
that ain't looking through me
I wanna find one place,
I wanna spit in the face of these badlands

CHORUS
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I would say to the insightful writer, Bruce Springsteen, I have been living in "badlands" for far too long. I have tried to:
- work myself out of it
- deny that I am living in it
- distract my mind with gadgets and technology
- become cynical of those who seem to be living in "goodlands"
- and with much hell-bent pride and bitterness - believed and lived as if there is no God (or at best, he doesn't seem to have my interests in mind.)

While working the night before Easter this year, well really it was Easter morning after midnight. Anyway, God reminded me that if he can raise his Son from the dead...let me phrase this another way for the over-saturated religious minded readers, which includes me...if he can breath life into a dead man and make him walk, talk, and eat again, he surely can resurrect me and my family from the "badlands" where I live and created with walls of pain and hurt.

This raising of new life includes a bad job situation, declining health due to fatigue and lack of sleep, anger over losing a job/career in which I had spent all of my adult life studying for and doing, a family that has been struggling for a long time, finances in disarray, and general overall sadness of a pathetic path I have chosen or been given by God (I can barely tell the difference these days).

If Jesus walked out of the grave, not in the form a ghost, but as a living, breathing human being - then I will too will walk out of this darkness of misery, shame, and sadness.

I would say to Mr. Springsteen, "Bruce, like you I believe in the love that God gave me, I believe in the faith that He saved me, and I believe in the hope and I pray that someday He will raise me above these badlands...and oh, by the way, you are right...it ain't no sin to be glad you're alive.

The Absurdity of Forgiveness

It's easy for God to do right? It is the idea and for him a fact, yet we are so human and self-aware that when we forgive, we may be truthful and totally full of intent, but still we do not forget.

This makes it so hard to sort of "move on" and be reconciled. We hold onto words, emotions, images, negativity, actions, and so on. So criticism, though I invite it to make me a better, more effective person, I crumble underneath a harsh comment or a rough tone. God has worked on me with this one, to be strong in the presence of sharp commentary, such as from a demanding boss or revengeful foe.

I am a lover of words. Words move my soul, heart, and mind. I feel loved when one uses words to love on me. On the flip side, I feel dishonored and disrespected with words as well. Words hurt and heal me.

When God utters words such as: "You are forgiven", "You are my child", "You are my treasure", "You are the masterpiece of creation", "You are the pinnacle of my creativity", "You are free". I not only believe these things, but I am filled with hope and the stamina to take another step, to live another day.

God help me to be like you...to forgive and forget.
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Here are some nuggets of forgiveness I found in Psalm 103:

3 He forgives all my sins
and heals all my diseases.
4 He saves my life from the grave
and loads me with love and mercy.
5 He satisfies me with good things
and makes me young again, like the eagle.

10 He has not punished us as our sins should be punished;
he has not repaid us for the evil we have done.
11 As high as the sky is above the earth,
so great is his love for those who respect him.
12 He has taken our sins away from us
as far as the east is from west.
13 The Lord has mercy on those who respect him,
as a father has mercy on his children.

17 But the Lord's love for those who respect him
continues forever and ever,
and his goodness continues to their grandchildren
18 and to those who keep his agreement
and who remember to obey his orders.

The Holy Bible, New Century Version®.
Copyright © 2005 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.