I'm the one with big mistakes,
big regrets, and bigger breaks than I'd ever
care to confess. Oh but, You're the one
who looks at me, and sees what I was meant
to be, more than just a beautiful mess.
(
You Are Everything by Matthew West)
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A beautiful mess is how I have seen myself in the past...well, way too many years. It's true that I am beautiful, or should I be more macho and say handsome? Regardless, of how I see me though it needs to be with more self-respect - God sees me as more than a handsome mess.
In a conversation that has lasted for 41 years, God has said some things to me that I did not believe due to blindness, pride, sin, shame, and the darkness of doubt that surrounded me for so long.
He said that I was created by him and that's enough to be called beautiful. He said that all of creation is
good, except for me - which he paused and said I am
very good. He said I am worthy enough to worship him, even though my imperfections are a direct contrast to his perfectness. He said that he looks at me and sees that my sins are gone, vanished, and thrown into the depths of the ocean.
Now here's the weird part - he mentioned that he cannot remember my sins. Huh? But aren't you God - the all-knowing Deity of the universe and beyond? He said that he has forgiven my sins and has forgotten them. If that's the truth, then no wonder he sees me as more than just a beautiful mess! He sees (gulp) perfection, sin-lessness, a new creature redeemed by his son.
The reason he sees me this way is because of Jesus. Jesus death and sacrificial blood has washed me so clean that God does not see the junk, filth, and garbage that has nearly ruined my life, at least from my horribly filtered view.
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Check out this vid and read the lyrics below of "Ocean Floor" by Audio Adrenaline:
The mistakes I've made, that caused pain;
I could have done without, all my selfish thoughts
All my pride, the things; I hide You have forgot about
They're all behind you, they`ll never find you
They're on the ocean floor, your sins are forgotten
They're on the bottom, of the ocean floor
My misdeeds, all my greed; All the things that haunt me now
They're not a pretty sight to see; But they`re wiped away
By a mighty mighty wave; A mighty mighty wave
They're all behind you, they`ll never find you
They're on the ocean floor, your sins are forgotten
They're on the bottom, of the ocean floor
Your sins are erased; And they are no more; They're out on the ocean floor
Take them away, to return no more; Take them away, to the ocean floor
To the ocean floor, to the ocean floor
They're all behind you, they`ll never find you; They're on the ocean floor, your sins are forgotten
They're on the bottom, of the ocean floor
Your sins are erased; And they are no more; They're out on the ocean floor
Your sins are forgotten; They're on the bottom; Of the ocean floor
Your sins are erased; And they are no more; They're out on the ocean floor
