Why Can't We Be Friends?

The struggle is implied in the title; can single men and women truly "be friends?" I have been gifted to work well with women (haha), with the ability to understand them better than some men do. That's where the tension arises, when my emotional connection goes over the line of friendship, even if its unexpressed and unexplored. I have spoken to several single friends about this and most believe that it's impossible for men and women to close friends. I think it's possible, but with parameters: First, honest communication about the man's intentions, up front and center. Which means both parties must first be honest with themselves. I like this quote:(thedatingblook.wordpress.com)

"The guy has to decide, if he's going to be her friend, then he's choosing not to date her. If he is choosing to date her, he's choosing not to be her friend."

This sounds tough, but it keeps the boundaries clear and manageable. Friendship can be built early and established within the relationship. Second, be careful if you spend any time alone. This has the potential to heighten sexual tension and increase expectations (especially for men). Third, having an opposite sex BFF is not a good choice for women or men. Best friends of women need to be women and best friends of men, need to be men. It assists in keeping healthy distance and maintaining good boundaries. These are some thoughts I have regarding opposite sex friendships, gathered over the past few years, mostly from painful experience and unpleasant conversations.