Ah, To See The World

States I Have Visited

Countries I Want To Visit

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Taking Risks

I have been a man of safe choices. Taking a risk is very tough for me therefore I maintain status quo and rarely improve things around me which require much change and transition.

I have moments of huge risk-leaps, but they have been very few. That's why I love this clip of highlights of Boise State beating Oklahoma a few years ago in one of the greatest upsets in College Football history..



God, may you help me take great leaps based on your Holy Spirit's guidance in my life.

"Old" Men of MLB

I copied this from my favourite baseball site baseball-reference for stats, standings, and history.

Oldest Players:
1) Jamie Moyer-PHI 1962-11-18 (45)
2) Kenny Rogers-DET 1964-11-10 (43)
3) Tom Glavine-ATL 1966-03-25 (42)
4) Greg Maddux-SDP 1966-04-14 (42)
5) Tim Wakefield-BOS 1966-08-02 (41)
6) John Smoltz-ATL 1967-05-15 (41)

What do I make of this? I recall all six of these playing in their early days! If I was in this group, I'd be...6) Roger Feeback-CIN 1966-09-03 (41)

Bad Grades

I recall getting my first "D" in the Ninth Grade. My parents were beside themselves. I believe I was more upset that I had disappointed them, more than myself. I was okay with mediocrity, or worse.

Later in college, I flunked a summer class...twice! Why? I don't know, other than I was bored and hated going to class in June. Hmmmmmmmm, can anyone say early signs of A.D.D.? That's classic behavior by someone as sick as me. If I do not like something or perhaps it's too hard mentally - I quit. I'm done when the brain goes overload or boooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggggggg.

Skip now to today. My ministry efforts in the last seven years were really hard with very few results. The job wasn't boring, it was overwhelming and too hard to accomplish. So, I quit. Now I live with shame over the fact that I was basically a CEO, with some strongly opinionated board members, of a company of 150 people - and it lost money (no lie - when I arrrived in 99 we had $100,000 in bank. When I left in 04, we had $20,000 in bank). I did not receive one raise in those five years.

I am running out of hope, stamina, and energy. I have lived with many "D"'s and unfortunately, so has my family. The A.D.D. monster keeps telling me to give up trying.

Something in me tells me to hang in there and remain close to God - for the day is not done, the sun has not set, and the stars will shine tonight.

The Absurdity of Forgiveness

It's easy for God to do right? It is the idea and for him a fact, yet we are so human and self-aware that when we forgive, we may be truthful and totally full of intent, but still we do not forget.

This makes it so hard to sort of "move on" and be reconciled. We hold onto words, emotions, images, negativity, actions, and so on. So criticism, though I invite it to make me a better, more effective person, I crumble underneath a harsh comment or a rough tone. God has worked on me with this one, to be strong in the presence of sharp commentary, such as from a demanding boss or revengeful foe.

I am a lover of words. Words move my soul, heart, and mind. I feel loved when one uses words to love on me. On the flip side, I feel dishonored and disrespected with words as well. Words hurt and heal me.

When God utters words such as: "You are forgiven", "You are my child", "You are my treasure", "You are the masterpiece of creation", "You are the pinnacle of my creativity", "You are free". I not only believe these things, but I am filled with hope and the stamina to take another step, to live another day.

God help me to be like you...to forgive and forget.
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Here are some nuggets of forgiveness I found in Psalm 103:

3 He forgives all my sins
and heals all my diseases.
4 He saves my life from the grave
and loads me with love and mercy.
5 He satisfies me with good things
and makes me young again, like the eagle.

10 He has not punished us as our sins should be punished;
he has not repaid us for the evil we have done.
11 As high as the sky is above the earth,
so great is his love for those who respect him.
12 He has taken our sins away from us
as far as the east is from west.
13 The Lord has mercy on those who respect him,
as a father has mercy on his children.

17 But the Lord's love for those who respect him
continues forever and ever,
and his goodness continues to their grandchildren
18 and to those who keep his agreement
and who remember to obey his orders.

The Holy Bible, New Century Version®.
Copyright © 2005 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.